Weddings at Bethlehem Lutheran Church

 

Planning Your Wedding at Bethlehem

 

Below are some general guidelines for wedding services at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Pemberville, Ohio.  For a complete copy of our wedding guidelines, please contact our office secretary at 419-287-4182. If there are discrepancies between these online guidelines and the printed guidelines, the printed guidelines will be definitive.

 

INTRODUCTION

Dear Friends:

 

Congratulations on your plans to marry.  Few decisions in life are more important than this one, and, like you, we want what is good and pure and honorable in the eyes of God.

 

While clergy are licensed by the state of Ohio to officiate at any legal marriage, the responsibility of the Christian pastor and congregation goes beyond the requirements of the state. Pastors and congregations are also responsible to God, to you, and to the whole Christian community.  For this reason we have expectations that go beyond having a valid marriage license.

 

A. Couples are expected to show interest in Christian life and faith.

1. We expect couples to be active in worship at Bethlehem or elsewhere during the months of marriage preparation.

2. We expect those who have little history of participation in the faith to participate in adult Christian instruction.

3. We expect that those who don’t want to be involved in the faith won’t ask the congregation to host their wedding.

 

B. Couples are expected to counsel with the pastor prior to the wedding.

1. Beginning six months prior to the wedding, couples will normally meet with the pastor 3-4 times. If your wedding is scheduled less than six months prior to the wedding, it is important to contact the pastor immediately.

2. The pastor will ask the couple to use a pre-marriage inventory at the couple’s expense ($35 as of June 2004) or participate in an appropriate pre-marriage retreat or seminar.

 

C. Couples are expected to be honest with regard to previous marriage, divorce, children, child support, pregnancy, etc. because all of these things can and do affect marriages.

1. A wedding will not be scheduled for one whose previous marriage is not yet legally terminated.

2. The pastor will not officiate at a wedding for one who is not providing for his or her children.

 

SCHEDULING YOUR WEDDING

A. All arrangements with the pastor and/or congregation should be made by the bride or groom, not by friends, professional wedding coordinators, or other members of the family.

B. Because the pastor expects to meet with couples for 3-4 times before the wedding, weddings are usually scheduled at least six months in advance.

C. A pastor of Bethlehem Lutheran Church normally officiates at all weddings of the congregation.  Other clergy may assist with the approval of the officiating pastor.

D. You may contact Bethlehem’s office secretary to check for available           wedding dates.  The secretary can tentatively reserve a date in your name for up to two weeks, but your wedding is not officially “on the calendar” until you have confirmed the date with the officiating pastor.

E. When you schedule your wedding, the pastor will ask these questions:

  1.What is your preferred wedding date?  (It needs to fit the pastor’s schedule as well as yours.)

  2.Do you understand that you will meet with the pastor 3-4 times before the wedding?

  3.Are you participating in Christian life and worship?  If not, do you intend to do so?

  4.Are you are willing to participate in Christian instruction?  (This will be asked of those who have little Christian background or of those who have been inactive in the church for some time.)

 

CHURCH WEDDING COORDINATOR

A. Once you have scheduled a wedding with the pastor, you may be assigned a wedding coordinator from the congregation. When a wedding coordinator is assigned, the bride and/or groom should then meet with the coordinator as soon as possible.

B. The congregation’s wedding coordinator assists you with music selection, church etiquette, use of decorations, etc.  He/she will also be here on the day of the wedding to be helpful.  At times the wedding coordinator may even conduct the wedding rehearsal.

C. If no wedding coordinator is assigned, the pastor will serve as the church’s wedding coordinator.

 

WEDDING BULLETINS

A. Wedding bulletins are not required. Bulletins may be printed either by the church or by a professional printer. The cost for bulletins and printing belongs to the bride and groom.

B. Bulletins can be ordered through the church office.  They should be ordered at least one month in advance. (See BASIC EXPENSES AT THE CHURCH for costs.)

C. When bulletins are printed by the church, information for the bulletin should be given to the church secretary at least 1 month in advance.

D. When bulletins are printed by someone other than the church, a copy of the proposed bulletin should be given to the church office or pastor before final printing.

 

MUSIC

A. Music is not required for a wedding.

B. Weddings at Bethlehem are Christian worship services.  While the style of worship music is a matter of taste, the lyrics (words) for worship music should have clear Christian content. Non-Christian, non-religious lyrics are not used for worship.

  1. Christian bookstores and publishers are a good source for appropriate wedding worship music.

  2. If there are questions about whether a particular vocal music selection is appropriate, lyrics should be submitted to the pastor or wedding coordinator at least 1 month in advance.

C. Congregational singing of hymns is both permitted and encouraged.

D. Pre-recorded music (CDs, tapes, etc.) and photocopied sheet music cannot not be used at your wedding without written permission from the copyright holder. This includes music used by all musicians.  Copyright permission must be shared with the pastor or wedding coordinator at least 1 month in advance.

 

MUSICIANS

A. Musicians are not required for a wedding.  Music is not required for worship.

B. When an organist or pianist is desired, it is the responsibility of the bride and/or groom to contact the organist and inform the pastor or wedding coordinator.

  1. The regular organist of the congregation may be available to play for your wedding. To use their services, please contact the church secretary for contact names and numbers (419-287-4182).

  2. Any other organist who is competent with a pipe organ may be chosen to play for your wedding.  The name, address, and phone number of the organist shall be given to the wedding coordinator or pastor as soon as possible.

C. When vocalists or other musicians are desired, it is the responsibility of the bride and/or groom to make those arrangements.  Names, addresses, and phone numbers of all musicians shall be given to the wedding coordinator or pastor as soon as possible.

D. When one musician will accompany others, it is the responsibility of the bride and/or groom to make sure the musicians know how to contact each other to arrange practice time.

E. All musicians shall be informed of the congregation's policy concerning what is and what is not appropriate worship music. (See "MUSIC- B")

F. If you purchase music for use by the church organist, it will be returned after the wedding.

 

RECEPTION AT THE CHURCH

A. The church’s Fellowship Hall may be available for wedding receptions.  It should be reserved as soon as possible by contacting the church office secretary.

B. The church does not cater wedding meals or receptions. The couple may choose their own caterer.

C. The caterer and wedding party are responsible for kitchen clean up and any damage or breakage to church equipment or property. The custodian will set up tables, clean the Fellowship Hall, clean the kitchen floor, and dispose of trash.

D. Alcohol may not be served or consumed in or on church property.

Smoking indoors is prohibited.

 

DECORATIONS

A. Special decorations are not required.

B. Decorations shall be in good taste and not conflict or obscure the central symbols of the church:  cross, altar, etc., please consult with the wedding coordinator for assistance and guidance.

C. The color for altar and pulpit hangings reflects the current season of the Church Year. Colors are not changed to       “coordinate” with wedding colors. Church colors have particular meanings that are not altered by a wedding.

D. Special aisle candlesticks are available for your use, if desired.  Candles are provided by the congregation for a nominal charge.

E. The church owns a unity candleholder that you may use, or you may use your own unity candle arrangement.  In either case, candles are not provided.  A unity candle is not required.

F. No fastening materials shall be used that will mark or damage church furniture, walls, or property in any way.

G. Altar flowers (not required) are purchased by the bride and groom.  After the wedding, flowers may be taken by the family or left in the church for use on Sunday.  If you plan to leave the flowers for Sunday worship, please inform the church office so that we may acknowledge your gift.  Flowers not picked up after the final worship service on Sunday are distributed to the sick.

 

REHEARSAL

A. A rehearsal is not usually necessary for a small or informal wedding. However, the more people that are involved in the wedding or wedding party, the more important is the rehearsal.

B. The rehearsal time and date should be set with the pastor or wedding coordinator as soon as possible and at least two months in advance.

C. The bride and groom, maid or matron of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, parents of the bride, and parents of the groom should be present for the rehearsal. Soloists need not be present since practice can take place at any time.  At least one usher should be present to receive instructions, which can be passed on to all other ushers before the wedding.

 

MISCELLANEOUS DETAILS FOR THE WEDDING DAY

A. As a courtesy to all who are involved, all weddings will begin promptly at the appointed time.

B. Ushers should arrive a full hour before the service.

C. All members of the wedding party should arrive at least 30 minutes before the service.

D. The bride and bride's party may dress in the church lounge. Remember to remove all personal belongings immediately after the wedding.  NO SMOKING OR ALCOHOL ALLOWED.

E. If a dressing room is desired at the church; please ask for one. NO SMOKING OR ALCOHOL ALLOWED.

F. Seating arrangements are the responsibility of the bride and groom, who instruct ushers as to their desires. We offer no instructions regarding traditional wedding etiquette. Your wedding coordinator may be helpful. There are also many good books to guide you.

G. The throwing of rice or confetti is not permitted within the church building or on the church property. Birdseed may be used, but it shall be used outside the building and swept into the grass before the wedding party leaves.

H. Please inform photographers and video camera operators that they must check with the pastor for instructions at least 20 minutes before the service.

I. Personal clothing and other possessions should be removed from the church immediately after the wedding so the church building can be set up for other functions. It may be helpful for you to designate someone to do this for you following the wedding.

J. Members of the wedding party have been using alcohol, who smell of alcohol, or who act in an intoxicated manner will not participate in the wedding. This is true even if the drinking took place prior to the arrival at the church.

K. Pastors, wedding coordinators, organists, and other church workers do not assume that they are invited to receptions and/or rehearsal dinners.  If you desire their attendance, send an invitation or invite them in advance. 

 

PAYMENT OF FEES AND EXPENSES

A. Fees for building use, candles, and or bulletins should be paid on the day of the rehearsal or before.  Checks are made out to Bethlehem Lutheran Church and may be given to the office secretary or to the pastor.

Fees or gifts for organists, pastor, or custodian should be paid on the day of the rehearsal or before.  (Checks are made out to the individual for whom they are intended.)

 

BASIC EXPENSES AT BETHLEHEM

Active

Members

NonMembers

Church Fees

 

 

Use of the building

Covers building maintenance, utilities, etc.

No cost

 

$150

Use of hall/kitchen for reception

(not required)

No cost

$150

Aisle candles (not required)

$12

$12

Bulletins (not required)

Quantities come per 100

Varies

$10-15/100

Varies

$10-15/100

Bulletin printing by the church

(not required)

$20

$20

FEES PAYABLE TO OTHERS

 

 

Custodial services for wedding

Make check to: Dan Magrum

$100

$100

Custodial services for wedding and reception.

Make check to Dan Magrum

$200

$200

Church organist

Non-church organist sets own fees. Rev. Ron Diener / Joyce Eisenhour

$100

$100

Pastoral services

Dave Wietelmann / Matt Musteric

Honorarium

$150

 

 

POSSIBLE ADDITIONAL EXPENSES AT THE CHURCH

A. Musicians: Musicians other than Bethlehem’s regular organists set their own fees. Ask about their fees when you schedule them for your wedding.

B. Flowers: (not required)  Flowers are ordered from the florist of your choice.

C.Aisle runner: (not required)  An aisle runner is ordered from the florist.

 

FOR MUSCIANS: TO BE GIVEN TO ALL MUSICIANS

Wedding Music at Bethlehem Lutheran Church

 

A. Weddings at Bethlehem Lutheran Church are conducted as Christian worship services. 

B. Worship music may be of any style—traditional, contemporary, etc.

C. Lyrics (words) for worship music should have clear Christian content.  Secular (non Christian, non-religious) songs are not appropriate.

1. Christian bookstores and publishers are a good source for appropriate Christian wedding music.

2. If there is a question about whether a particular vocal music selection is appropriate, lyrics should be

submitted to the pastor or wedding coordinator as soon as possible and at least one month before the wedding.

3. Most popular “love” songs are not appropriate for worship and could be better used at the reception.

D. Pre-recorded music (CDs, tapes, etc.) and photocopied sheet music cannot not be used without written permission from the copyright holder.  This includes any music used by any musician.  Evidence of copyright permission must be given to the pastor or wedding coordinator at least one month before the wedding.

 

FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS: TO BE GIVEN TO ALL PHOTOGRAHERS AND VIDEOGRAPHERS
Wedding Photography and Videography at Bethlehem Lutheran Church

 

A  A wedding at Bethlehem Lutheran Church is conducted as a Christian worship service.  Therefore, photography and videography should not interfere with the worshipful spirit of the event.

B  During the procession of the bridal party to the front of the church, photographers and videographers may work from the center aisle, and photographers may use a flash.

C  After the procession of the bridal party to the front of the church, photographers and videographers shall move to the back of the church (behind all worshipers and guests) until the end of the wedding service.

D  Photographers and video camera operators are permitted to work quietly from the back of the church during the worship service.  Movement should be kept to a minimum. 

E  No flash photography is permitted after the procession of the bridal party to the front of the church.

F  An unattended video camera may be placed to the side of the chancel (platform) area prior to the wedding service. There may be other locations available for an unattended camera; check with the pastor.

 

2/5/07